Eric Staggs: Writer

One of my favorite quotations is from Napoleon Bonaparte, “One does not compose the Iliad by studying grammar.”

He’s right. It’s very easy in many disciplines of writing to get hung up on the details, the rules and guides. Especially as a screenwriter, where everything is focused on a structure designed to entertain a very fickle audience, you will find yourself comparing your creative moments to where a plot point should occur. This is bad. Just ask Napoleon.

Structure aside, the issue of grammar comes up almost every moment of my writing day. When writing dialogue, I base my dialogue on my character’s backgrounds, their history, their knowledge and upbringing. One thing as writer’s we must always be aware of is the fact that dialogue is one of our many tools, but must never be so direct as a hammer blow.

Think about it. Consider a tense conversation with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Did you come out and say “This isn’t working because you chew your nails and it’s gross.”

Of course not. You said “Well, there are some things that just aren’t working out for me.” Or something to that effect. Directness in dialogue should be saved for action sequences. In all most all other instances dialogue is coy and flitting – no one EVER says what they mean, really. Verbal communication is 90% body language. That means your dialogue should be only about 10% truth. I’m over simplifying, but I hope you can see my point.

Back to grammar. One of the big assignments in any writing program, especially regarding dialogue is the “eavesdropping” assignment. In my academic career I’ve done the assignment four times at least. You’re supposed to go somewhere you aren’t familiar with and listen to the people talk. Listen to their exact words.

You’ll see in about two sentences that no one ever uses proper and correct grammar. Real people just don’t speak that way.

“me and him”
“these ones”
“orientate”
“ya’ll”
“gimme”
“prolly”
“youse guys”
“ya”

The list goes on and on. Good dialogue recognizes verbal colloquialisms and exploits them for a more realistic character.

Conversely, many of fiction writers must spend their odd hours writing for corporations – business freelance writing. Obviously your employer will demand proper grammar in all written communications. However, what is proper to one organization may not be proper to another. This is logical, based on industry specific needs for communication.

The number one reason you want supporting character in your story is because of the need to have dialogue. Witty banter and traded quips are an excellent method of exposition. Not the only method, mind you, but a solid and reliable one if employed correctly.

Dialogue is a great way to explore a character more fully, to demonstrate how they think. No one always uses correct grammar. Some people never use it. What assumptions do you make about a person who you’ve just met who says “Shit yeah” after every sentence? What about “ain’t no way?” These are rather heavy-handed examples, obviously, but I think my point is well made: your readers will make the same assumptions upon meeting a character with a dialect or colloquial way of speaking.

As we write, we tend to think of words as filling out a structure, a framework, upon which we hang our story, if you will. The words human(characters) speak, are essentially arbitrary audio symbols that the speaker hopes the listener can interpret.

“Esyall ken?” is the same as “Are you related?” When spoken of course, they are two very different things.

Good dialogue has three traits:

1. Judicious use of exposition

Setting your entire plot in a blurted and poorly timed run-on sentence is for Saturday morning cartoons.

“Hey Good Guys! The Bad Guys, our lifelong nemeses who come from the same place as us, but were corrupted by evil forces, are scheming to steal our bananas because they believe our bananas will help them disrupt the power-stalemate and help them achieve socio-political dominance, so lets travel to banana island and defend it from their schemes immediately.”

versus

“Sidekick, did you notice something wrong with the bananas?”

“Now that you mention it, Hero, I did. I opened two peels that were hollow.”

“Indeed. And I opened a third. Supporting Character Two and Three complained about empty bananas as well.”

“Really?”

“They sure did, Sidekick. I’m going to banana island to investigate. You speak with Supporting Character Two and Three, to see what you can learn!”

2. Sounds natural

People, no matter who they are, usually have something affecting how they speak. Speech impediments, intoxication, reliance upon slang, are just a few. No one always uses proper grammar.

A college student invites his date in for…whatever…

“Welcome, Cordelia to my humble abode. Though only a lowly scholar just beginning my academic journey, I work hard to keep my domicile tidy. I am fastidious by nature, and my Spartan lifestyle lends itself well to that facet of my personality. Welcome and be at ease. I shall serve you ale or wine, whichever you prefer, and at our leisure we can plan our next move…”

versus

“Come on in. It’s a little cramped. But, at least I don’t have a roommate, right?”

“No, no, it’s cool,” she sounded nervous, which in turn made him nervous. How could he put her at ease?

“Um, I’ve got some beer and box-wine…” He opened the fridge and lifted out a box with gilded pink lettering and a plastic spout. He shook the box, listening to it’s over-sweet contents slosh around. “Yeah, there’s some left…”

3. Advances the plot

Like everything else in your piece, your dialogue should have more substance to it thant eh conversations Hank Hill and Boomhauer have while sipping warm American beer in their backyard. Not every conversation has to be a philosophical epiphany or treatise on a technological revolution. But, by the same token, dialogue can’t be about chewing bubble gum or eating the last cookie – unless it advances the plot!

“I had fish for dinner. After that, I ordered a martini and smoked a cigarette. It was good. I’d never had  Blackcloud Menthols before. After an argument with the hostess, I then paid the bill and got in the car.”

versus

“Can I bum a smoke? Yeah, I’m starving. I mean, I had an early dinner at Scaley Pete’s, ya know. I was havin’ a smoke, post-facto, and the waitress starts to change color. I shit you not. She turned grey and started to stretch out. People were screamin’, dishes breakin’, all of it. I grabbed my knife and thought ‘oh man, this is it.’ Before I knew, Mrs. Battleship-hips herself turned into a giant killer whale. She starts thrashin’ and snappin’ her jaws, that’s why my arm is all cut up. Anyway, I ended up tossing my smokes at her. Don’t ask why. I panicked…any way, I need a ride too…”