Eric Staggs: Writer

I’ve been guest blogging again… check out my article on D7D 5E for Nervermet Press!

I’m going to take this opportunity to break the boundaries of comfortable Geekiness. Ever since I read Gary Gygax’s Gord the Rogue series and discovered there were character sheets for Gord in his various stages of development in the back of the book (yes, I’m that old), I’ve been building character sheets in my head for all characters I’ve come across. Today, I’m breaking down the characters from The Walking Dead. I’m not going to provide full, three page sheets, but I’ll offer the basics – the vitals: Alignment, Class, a few choice stats and some skills. For you young folk, we’re doing this 2^nd Edition Style – when the game was The Game.

Rick: Paladin – 5^th, Lawful Good

We have to start with Rick. He’s obviously our protagonist and he’s got one of the hardest jobs of all: keeping himself together while keeping the rest of the group together. Rick is obviously Lawful Good. He was a cop in his previous life, and now, as a zombie apocalypse survivor he spends most of his time keeping people’s spirits up and killing undead. Sounds like a Paladin to me. One could even go so far as to say he’s used his “Lay On Hands,” ability. And though he summoned (acquired) a mount, he wasn’t strong (or wise) enough to protect it. A common mistake for over-excited 4^th level Paladins. His Turn Undead is pretty weak, but he inspires courage and has an Aura of Protection from Evil (giving everyone else a +1 to hit, morale, etc.). Rick’s biggest problem, aside from the fact that I figure he’s only got 45 hit points, is the same problem all Paladin’s have: his alignment – Lawful Good. Characters who voluntarily sport the LG do so because they believe that everyone follows the same rules. To be clear, everyone does not share the same beliefs. That means the LG characters that keep their word are always going to get burned. Watch your back Rick.

Shane: Fighter – 7^th, Chaotic Evil

I’m going to give Shane two more levels than Rick – he’s been busy while our hero was in Coma-land. Shane may have started out as Chaotic Good or even Neutral Good, but the Zombie Apocalypse has pushed him deep into the realm of Chaotic Evil. I know he’s at least 7^th level, because he attacks 3/2 easily and has about 70 hit points. Probably more, since he’s no doubt got a Constitution score of at least 16. He’s a straight fighter; multiple specializations in ranged weapons but can easily roll with a mace or club if a melee should so require. I know Paladins may not knowingly work with those of Chaotic Evil or Lawful Evil alignment; but as is so often the case with Chaotic Evil characters, Shane hides it pretty well, at least, to the casual observer. By the middle of season two, his near rape of Rick’s wife, commando buzz-cut and outright murder of Otis solidifies him as a Chaotic Evil fighter. If I was running the game and it was house rules, I’d give him a bonus Fate Point and be secretly making Ravenloft Powers Checks for him.

Daryl – Ranger 6^th, Chaotic Good

He’s gruff and ornery and thought I can’t smell him, I imagine he’s got a peculiar aroma. This white-trash zombie-slaying redneck nightmare is, in my opinion, rapidly becoming an audience favorite. Hard to get to know and very independent, his early affiliation with Merle cast him in a rather doubtful light. But it’s easy to see he’s chosen a species enemy of Zombie (+4 to hit), has a double specialization in Crossbow. He’s attacking 3/2 or maybe even 2/1 with a +2 for point-blank shots. He’s one of those characters with an average strength but he’s got a Constitution and Dexterity (and maybe Wisdom too) score of at least 16. His skills make him invaluable to a crew of city-folk, but he’s very much a loner. His frequent hunting and scouting forays are the perfect use of his skills. He’s got a Hide In Shadows and Move Silently of about 70%, but likely has an item that gives him a bonus in rural areas and/or versus undead.

Dale: Cleric 4^th, Neutral Good

Though older, Dale is one of those characters that didn’t find his true calling until late in life. He might have dual-classed from Fighter or Ranger (I’d say 2 levels of Fighter for the d10 hit points and Weapon Proficiencies).  Dale is definitely not a specialty priest – he’s a generic cleric with access to most spheres, but at a lesser level.  Like a Space Marine Chaplain, though perhaps inadvertently, he takes the spiritual well being of the group very seriously. His aversion to death in general would indicate he’s a follower of one of the softer Forgotten Realms Gods – Chauntea or Sune; but then again, he might be a follower of Helm or even Ilmater. He’s a staple however, and though the NPC priest is usually the first to die, it’s good to know that a crafty professional is playing this character. I think the group would come apart without him. Like all Neutral good characters, he just doesn’t have the spiritual wherewithal to commit – like shooting Shane when he took the guns.

Glen – Thief 9^th, Neutral Good

We’re giving glen the levels here because he’s demonstrated a few things that only experienced and wily thieves can: he’s still alive. I’m going to give him at least x2 Backstab, maybe x3. He’s got a Hide In Shadows of 80%+ and a 10% bonus in urban areas (probably due to a Kit or a very clever backstory written by his player). His Move Silently is 80%+ as well. He’s got a Dexterity of 19 (it’s the only explanation for his Initiative modifier and To-Hit with Ranged weapons). However, I think his Strength and Constitution are below 11, which likely give him -1 penalties. At best I’d give him 36 Hit-Points. His Pick Pockets is low for a name-level thief (50%?), but his Open Lock is 80% as well. Probably he has no points in Read Languages either. His climb walls is 99% the maximum it can be. He’s a professional survivor in this Zombie world, but he’s going to have ad some HPs to make it long term with his chosen adventuring party.

Lori – 2^nd Fighter, Chaotic Good then Lawful Good

As a woman with a child to protect in the Zombie Apocalypse, Lori quickly adapted and adopted, finding emotional succor and physical protection with Shane. A character with a high Intelligence (18 maybe) she had a few extra proficiency slots available and used them for Wilderness Survival,

Andrea – 3^rd Fighter, Neutral Evil or Chaotic Evil

Lori is a survivor, but early in her career as a Fighter in the Zombie Apocalypse, she spread her Weapon Proficiencies around a bit too broadly – a necessity when one can’t stop by the blacksmith for a specially weighted long sword or height-calibrated composite bow. She’s just now reached 3^rd level and used her new Weapon Proficiency for a specialization in Ranged Weapons. She’s a character with above average Intelligence (15-17) but a low to average Wisdom (11). Her Charisma is high (16-18) and was likely the only attribute she relied upon before the Zombie Apocalypse. The loss of her sister affected to so profoundly that she’s truly lost her way. Now she’s struggling to find another emotional anchor and her choice of Shane shows her low WIS score and her shifting alignment. As she gains experience she will find herself pitted against that same emotional anchor and will be forced to make a choice.

Carl – 1^st Fighter, Chaotic Good

Carl, son of Rick and Lori, is in a unique position. Due to his age, he’s not yet set in any single Class choice and he’s got the benefits of a pretty wide array of trainers around him. I’m going to suggest his Wisdom score is very high – he’s had too much happen to him not to be better for it. I’m also going to suggest he’s got an above average Intelligence (15). These are going to help him in whatever career he finally chooses. It looks like he’s working on another level of Fighter. His affinity for firearms seems to be growing every episode (perhaps dangerously so). But the boy’s wisdom must make him more than a simple fighter. He could end up as a cleric – the spiritual guide and voice of reason for a community of survivors. Likely, an upcoming betrayal by Shane on a scale that none in the group can image will impel Carl towards the Lawful Good alignment. As it stands, he simply doesn’t have the world experience to understand the necessary sacrifices that come with a Lawful Good alignment. We also know that he’s got more than 1d10 hit points – likely about 10 exactly and his father’s Paladin abilities (First Aid, Lay On Hands) were able to stabilize him when he was shot. It’s not too much of a stretch to see Carl adopting some new post zombie apocalypse religion. Regardless, Carl is going to end up with above average STR, DEX and CON stats to compliment his Wisdom.

Duane – 2^nd Thief, Chaotic Good

This poor lad, like Carl has the dubious benefit of experiencing entirely too much entirely too fast due to the topsy-turvy world of the Zombie Apocalypse. Living in a city forces almost all characters to become stealthy. Duane’s whereabouts are unknown – so we’re going to assume he’s still living in a cityscape with his father Morgan. Duane’s adding levels of Thief as a necessity, but likely will dual-class to Fighter or Ranger as he ages. His trauma with his mother will undoubtedly make him an excellent zombie killer – perhaps giving him a natural +1 to hit and damage all undead.

Morgan 6^th Fighter, Lawful Good

When we meet Morgan in Episode 2, we see him demonstrate conviction paired with incredible kindness and understanding. When given the information necessary to satisfy his core needs and beliefs (safety for self and Duane) he immediately offers food and shelter to Rick. Morgan’s Intelligence score is high (16-17) as he picks up the patterns and behaviors of the undead rapidly. However, he didn’t leave the city and neglected to accumulate much of an arsenal. He’s a survivor however, and with more than 55 hit points, we’ll see him again.

Theo – 4^th Fighter, Neutral Good

With only what seems to be a support role, Theo is relegated (unfairly) to the status of low-level jack-of-all-trades, only a stone’s throw above that of NPC. The Walking Dead is a series (campaign) that plants the seeds of tomorrows plot today. Theo is going to be a key character upon Merle’s return. In the meantime, we’ve got a fellow with a pretty high Constitution (15+ as he continually made his Save vs. Poison when his arm was infected) and a solid Strength (15+ as well). In more than one occasion, he’s been Johnny-On-The-Spot with a neatly placed shovel to the back of some undead heads. He’s a stalwart fighter – but perhaps a bit clumsy. His dropping of the Key that could have freed Merle was an accident. Further, his cutting of his own arm was an accident as well. Yes, Theo has a DEX low enough to incur a penalty to all DEX checks (9?).  He’s got a lot of hit points for his level, maybe 50 or more.

Merle  – 9^th Fighter, Lawful Evil

This monstrous creature is obviously Lawful Evil, firmly set in his beliefs and unable to hide them for even a moment. His battle-readiness and durability mark his as a fighter hands down. Add to that his healthy case of PTSD from the Marine Corps and we have a “name-level” Fighter, one or two steps from becoming a warlord with his own randomly generated back of followers. His survival skills are solid as are his Saves vs. Paralyze, Poison and probably Magic as well. I’m guessing his got an item or character trait that gives him a bonus to his Con (17). His strength is 17 maybe 18:01. He’s got a natural toughness, which adds to his Armor Class (it’d be DR 3.5 edition).  His Hit Points must be near 80. Merle is the archetypical villain warrior leading the armies of evil in so many AD&D campaigns. Can’t wait to see him again – it’ll be trouble for everyone, especially Daryl and Theo.

Carol – 1^st Fighter, Neutral Good

By the Mid-Season Finale of Season 2, Carol makes her choice. Until now, she’s been a plot device, one with depth certainly, and plausibility that should be lauded – but a plot device nonetheless. Now, with the death of Sophie – so visceral and brutal, completely inescapable, she’s reached the top of her character arc and is now ready to rocket down the other side. She’s going to take a Warrior Class, Ranger probably, and study under Daryl. As well, she’ll receive a visit from Lori and Dale designed to prop her up. Likely a strange friendship will grow between Carol and Lori (should Lori survive her time with Shane). Carol seems to lack physical Strength, but she’s never caught unless she wants to be. She’s high a high DEX (15+) and her Con, WIS and INT are above average (14+). Her STR is likely around 11. She’s got a lot of Hit Points (as is so sadly demonstrated by her relationship with her dead husband Ed.

Farm Folks

Hershel – 12^th Necromancer, Lawful Evil

Contrary to popular belief, Lawful Evil is only an opinion away from Lawful Good. An evil cleric who razes villages at the behest of his God can’t consider himself evil – he is “righteous.” Hershel is motivated by a higher purpose and he easily blurs the lines between acceptable and survival behaviors. We’re calling him a necromancer because he willingly blurs the lines between life and death – his inability or unwillingness to recognize the undead as no longer living, no longer people, violates all the social mores of civilization. Yet Hershel is able to not only maintain his belief system, but also spread it to his followers, influencing them in ways they likely don’t even realize. We’re giving him so many experience levels because of his ability as a surgeon (veterinarian or not) and a craftsman. He’s got a very low Wisdom – 12 or so, because he can’t see beyond his own belief system. But his Intelligence is easily 17 (which, a mage’s prime requisite gives him a 10% XP bonus). Of course, his “command undead” powers don’t work quite as nicely as they perhaps should, but we can easily see this guy as a benevolent apothecary or even a hedge-wizard who waddles about the village, always there to lend a hard – always there to help “bury” a loved one. Yes, Hershel is a Necromancer – and a closet Lich wannabe.

Beth – 0^th NPC, Neutral Good

I had to do some research to find out the name attached to this familiar face. According to 2^nd Edition AD&D, as a 0^th-level Non-player Character, Beth can make attacks but has only 0-4 hit points (1/2 hit die), so a solid fist could kill her. There’s a big part of me that says she’s only on the screen to add some dimension and up the plausible body count. However, as Maggie’s little sister, she has the ability to be a compelling plot device for a character that looks like she might stick around (Maggie) and of course, manipulate Glen as well. The alignment of Neutral Good is based on her lack of significant involvement in the group’s politics. While this could be contributed to her being a minor character (NPC), more likely, we’re expected to believe her age limits her influence. That said kids grow up fast in the post-apocalyptic world of The Walking Dead. A sixteen year old should not only be patrolling the perimeter and drilling with weapons, but likely focusing on a trade that will increase the over all odds of survival for the group (carpentry, metal working, chemistry). The jury is still out on whether Beth is a character or just NPC body count.

Maggie – 2^nd Ranger, Chaotic Good

It’s tempting to assign Maggie some Rogue class; but she’s not yet demonstrated much ability in that arena. So far, she’s just been the Farmer’s Daughter – a temptress and wild element thrown in distract some of our more stable but easily distracted characters. As we all know, even since the Conclave of Dungeons and Dragons Stereotypes in 1992, all Farmer’s Daughters are Rangers with 1d3 levels. Maggie hasn’t chosen her Species Enemy yet, nor has she demonstrated over-the-top woods lore, tracking or hunting abilities. She’s proficient in Animal Husbandry  (perhaps making her the only character in the history of AD&D to take the Non-weapon Proficiency slot). Maggie’s Chaotic Good alignment comes from her overall desire to do “right,” but an omnipresent selfishness gives her a chaotic streak that may in fact force her into either dual-classing to Fighter or Thief, or worse, simply losing her Ranger Status.

Jimmy – 3^rd Ranger, Chaotic Good

Chaotic Good is in my opinion the most common alignment in the world. It allows a character the comfort of civilization while enabling them to see to their own various worldviews, vendettas, opinions and beliefs. So, with less than 30 lines from Jimmy, we’re going to assign him the alignment of Chaotic Good. He’s bordering on making a change – his willingness to defy Hershel and assist Rick and his bunch implies knowledge and understanding of a “greater need” for good and community. Jimmy might switch over to Lawful Good by the end of Season 2. His weapon skills aren’t remarkable, but he’s alive, and hasn’t been branded a liability, so that counts for something. Ranger is appropriate due to his background and location on Hershel’s farm. Though the jury is still out – many of the folks in Hershel’s group seem to be in the mix for body count.

Patricia – 1^st Cleric, True Neutral

Patricia is Otis’ wife. She’s a dramatic addition, a reminder and downer all at once. She assists Hershel with the healing and first aid needs of the group, yet offers little else aside from chicken broth and maybe a Cure Light Wounds once per day. Her sadness at the loss of Otis will of course change her character. She now walks a dangerous path as True Neutral Character. Many Fighter-class players will argue that True Neutral is the most useful of alignments, enabling the character to willfully and even cheerfully take any action necessary to survive. They are incorrect – the alignment they are talking about is Chaotic Evil – the true Sociopath. Patricia knows her own lack of power and influence – Otis was her anchor and protector. She lacks real influence with Hershel and is a member of the community now only because of Hershel’s twisted views on charity, community and of course, life and death. Patricia may easily find herself becoming Chaotic Evil just to survive, or embracing Hershel’s worldview completely and adjusting her alignment to Lawful Evil. She might also make a complete moral recovery and shift to Neutral Good or even Lawful Good (mothers and wives tend to value life a little too much to stop for long as Chaotic Good).

Obviously what this group is missing is a 5^th Mage. A 5d6 Fireball would go a long way in the Zombie Apocalypse. There’s always next season.

If you enjoyed this you might also like The Problem With Undead, Zombies Again and A Good Night for Zombies

Check out this book review I wrote for Spectacle Publishing Media Group of Chris R. Knutson’s book, Hundredrom: Dream of the Hid-Folk!

Off-Topic –

The demo for Space Marine was released for Xbox360 today. I downloaded the 1.6-gigabyte teaser immediately. I powered it up and was suddenly in another world. Fans of the franchise don’t need me to explain; they know what was needed. Firewarrior, GW’s first foray into first-person shooters was a good game – if you were a fan of the genre. I just pretended I was Imperial Guard not Tau (because Tau are lame). First thing you did was drop the pansy Tau-beamer-gun-thing and pick up a bolter.

Well, Space Marine not only starts you out with a bolt-pistol and chainsword, you also sport a bolter rifle and the trendy “stalker pattern” bolter, as well a mine-laying-grenade-like-blower-upper thing. Finally, armed like a true space marine, you set about slaughtering orks. Lots of orks.

There were moments while playing I found myself talking out loud, saying things like “The Emperor Protects, bitch!” and “Blood for the blood-god!” and “I shall know no fear!” I found myself in awe of the sheer destructive potential of one ceramite-armored Ultramarine and his chainsword. I hurled grenades, unloaded hundreds of bolter rounds, I sniped, I ducked, and I rolled. I killed the ork filth until my armor was shining black with their foul blood.

And I loved it.

Then, I started to think about the game with less testosterone and a more critical eye. I found a bug in the demo; when dropping the cannon from the crane, by lobbing all my grenades into the waiting mob, the orks died and did not trigger certain scripting events. I crane access point never lit up. I had to exit and start over. Which was okay, because I wanted to kill more orks, but had I need 24-hours into a combat drop with my Battle Brothers, I’d have been a little pissed off.

Then I started to listen to the orks voices. They sound like little British men. Little British men who may sell you fish and chips and may or may not give you directions to Big Ben. Now, keep in mind that an ork in the Warhammer 40,000 Universe is nigh on seven feet tall, thickly muscles with tusks long as your hand. They have beady red eyes (like an old roommate I had) and talon-like fingers. They have incredible strength and heal from the most egregious of wounds. They believe red makes vehicles go faster (and it might) and I suspect are cannibals when the going gets… well, less fun. These are brutes! Like great green gorillas with shotguns and rocket launchers! They DO NOT sound like little British men; of this I am absolutely positive.

Worse, the space marines started talking. They sound like slightly larger, yet still small British men. A space marine is a genetically engineered super-soldier, in ancient power armor armed with weapons of esoteric technology and incalculable destructive potential. The space marine has two hearts; his armor pumps him full of morphine or some such crap when wounded. Their blood vessels constrict to minimize blood loss. They have polymer reinforced ribcages and an implanted third lung for Emperor’s sake! They, like the orks, most certainly do not sound like average sized British men.

I think you’ll all agree.

Now, the game is incredibly entertaining. But the voice acting, while well portrayed was not cast well or engineered well at all. Little British men do not don thousand-year-old suits of power armor and stomp across the galaxy vaporizing orks, chaos and anything else that gets in the way. Space Marines do that. Space Marines sound different.

Where was the… I don’t know… the Dude Who Listens To Sound for this game? The bolters sound great! The crack-boom-ding of exploding, bouncing bolter rounds was supremely well crafted. As was the adrenaline inducing sound of the chainsword. The ambient sounds were excellent. I don’t know if there was music, I couldn’t hear it over all the dying orks. But I have to ask, couldn’t they have modulated the Space Marines’ voices just a little? Given the orks a little scratch and growl?

The game was an automatic purchase for me. I buy all GW’s video games, hoping that they would finally make something like Space Marine. It’s going to a spectacular game, but the voices… the voices…

Kind words from some very talented writers. Thank you all!

“Eric’s collections of short stories are not only entertaining but are very well written. There’s adventure, humor, intrigue and everything that makes stories exciting to read. As you’re reading it is so easy to make a mental movie from the words that are written on the pages. I enjoyed them very much. It was hard to wait to see what would happen next. Eric is a talented, gifted, and mind boggling writer. He will keep you your toes with his imagination. I recommend that you read Space Whales and Other Nonsense. You won’t be disappointed.” - Bianca Emery, Writer

The best part is… they don’t run out:

Buy it for Kindle at Amazon.com

Buy it for Nook at Barnesandnoble.com

The first reviews are coming in – good things! Check it out:

“Eric Staggs is one of those rare sci-fi writers that has new ideas that simultaneously expand the genre and make it more accessible to everyone in the process. Each short story is a window into detailed worlds that will get your imagination firing and make you yearn for complete series set in each one. The stories run the gamut from far out alien adventures to tales that could happen just down the street if the world were tweaked ever-so-slightly. There is drama, action, philosophy, and even the occasional bit of humor. If you don’t love Sister Shiv then you don’t have a funny bone in your body. Point being, this short story collection is a lot of things, but that’s not a bad thing, and it will appeal to everybody. Like Shel Silverstein, Staggs has created something bizarre, but relatable to everyday life. You’ll appreciate how unique these stories are and how much you can take away from them.”  –Jeremiah Smith, Writer

Buy it for Kindle at Amazon.com

Buy it for Nook at Barnesandnoble.com

This book came recommended from a trusted source. I opened it up and was immediately thrown into a near-future, vaguely familiar version of my own world, and introduced to characters of such depth that still, days after completion, I find myself reflecting on their actions and words.

The story is that of a Jesuit party assigned to a first contact mission. The privatization of space exploration allows the Jesuits to quickly and reasonably send a team out to meet the aliens known as Singers. The characters meet in what seem rather unlikely circumstances, adding to their common belief that their whole mission was ordained by God. The author teases so deliberately, so perfectly, page after page. We are invited into the world of a group of professionals from different backgrounds, with different philosophical and ideological worldviews, who find common ground in basic altruism. The mission ends disastrously; and as readers we re-live each triumph and failure of the expedition, while the characters come to grips with their own issues.

For any writer, this book is a must read. It’s obvious that the Mary Doria Russel is a highly intelligent and highly educated writer. Her knowledge of linguistics, anthropology and religion adds a very real dimension to all the characters. Her ability to draw upon the basic human experience and encapsulate it into movements, gestures or moments between characters is startling, in many cases profound and disturbing.

A science-fiction tale, The Sparrow leans heavily on the characters, as all good stories should. The technology, though of great import to the setting and plausibility of the whole, is mostly just a back-drop from the events taking place. This is an absolute must read; a near perfect character study.

Glen Cook’s Passage At Arms came to be in my library by a rather circuitous route. Having read The Dragon Never Sleeps another of Glen Cook’s sci-fi novels, I had several times considered picking up Passage At Arms. Finally, I did.

I was not disappointed in the slightest. Passage At Arms is the tale of military journalist attached to a special unit called a Climber. The Climbers are long range patrol ships, seeking out the enemies of humanity in the vast, lonely reaches of space.

Cook’s eye-of-the-storm storytelling takes the reader by the collar and drags them into a claustrophobic world of nano-second violence and nerve crushing waiting.

The battles occur in milliseconds, with casualties far apart, little more than light blips on high tech sensors. The removal of the combatants from the horrors of war is near complete. The enemy then becomes themselves, their nerves and will power. As the ship molds and festers around them (bacteria grows in a sealed ship like a peatrei dish) and the crew itself becomes scurvy and filthy, the mental strain becomes unbearable. Glen Cook manages to convey this sense with split second timing and monotonous trials of patience. His ability to play with time makes events stream by or cause it to dilate to absurdity.

The characters become strangers to one another as they open to the reader, their inner-selves unfolding like neurotic origami. As the pressure of long-duration space battle build, we see man at his worst and his finest.

A sci-fi war novel, Passage At Arms sports only two or three actual battles, spanning (story-wise) less than three minutes. Regardless, the battles are intense and well planned, demonstrating the author’s knowledge of hard science and his ability to mitigate boring physics with actual story telling. A must read.

Upon further consideration, I feel compelled to comment on the author’s use of space. Not outer space, just space in general. In my first review of Ender’s Game, I wrote about the story and Orson Scott Card’s political and social views. He’s a little right of reasonable, but dodges the crux of the issue quite well. I felt that perhaps I was cheating readers by not discussing the actual writing of the book.

So the author’s use of space… is awkward. Each and every scene seems to occur in a vacuum, only the briefest attention given to the details of the location. Settings become rough layouts of rooms with noticeable obstacles. The fine details that we would expect our narrator to present to us through the magnificently observant eyes of young Ender Wiggan don’t occur.

It is possible the author intentionally left the settings sparse for mood and out of logical reason; space is cold and empty, extra clutter is dangerous and Ender lives in a cold and empty world. But that’s cheating.

Ender is not cold and empty, thus even though the world he lives in might be immaculate or sparse, Ender’s perceptions should have colored it a multitude of hues, from a tiny spittle of rust on a seldom used access hatch, to a flicker or twitch in the eyes of his arch-nemesis, Bonzo.

Further, Ender’s insight came from nowhere. The more I ponder this the more troubling it becomes. The character saved the world – but how? His magical intellect grew from what seem to be two very average parents. In the beginning of the book, some pretense is made towards the monitoring and selection of special children. This is fine in the beginning, but as the world’s hopes come to rest squarely on Ender, his abilities outstrip even the most senior of military commanders. As readers we need more. We need some assurance of plausibility; some reason that this is all possible. The author fails to deliver.

At the continuous urging of what seems like the entire western hemisphere, I finally picked up a copy of Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card. This masterwork from a renowned storyteller sits atop the “best” list of almost everyone I’ve ever asked about it. I suppose curiosity got the better of me.

The last time I was urged to read the book, I was given a little biography of Orson Scott Card. Having, as most artists, writers and creative-types do, mostly liberal friends, Card’s political and social views were brought up immediately.

“Great book,” they all said “but he hates homosexuals.”

Intrigued, I went right to the bookstore and picked up a copy of Ender’s Game. It was good. I took issue with some of the pacing, but just when I was frustrated enough, the scene shifted and we the readers were propelled forward in time to a more interesting and active moment in the hero’s tale.

As I read, however, I noticed distinct moment of strangely potent homo-eroticism. The hero, a boy named Ender, is sent to live in a co-ed battle school, where he will be transformed into the ultimate soldier. He is barely eight, but has an intellect and maturity level rivaling most adults. By the time he is twelve, he has killed two other boys (though he doesn’t know it) and defeated every enemy he’s ever encountered.  While at the Battle School, Ender is constantly removing his clothes, wrestling and fighting in the nude and ignoring the nudity of any present (of which there was only one) females.

The Author goes so far as to make sure we all know that some of the other students (boys) are sleeping in the nude. In one touching and strangely disturbing scene, Ender offers to share his bed with a young student who is too young to find his way “back to the barracks.”

Orson Scott Card is perhaps one of the armchair military philosophers who believe in the Ancient Greek Military Discipline, where young boys were “tutored” by older soldiers. This was not, of course homosexuality. It was in fact, the most masculine way to be a pederast.

After discussing the book and this bevy of very Ancient Greek fraternity described in it, one of my compatriots suggested of Card, “Perhaps he doth protest too much?”

Regardless the book was a good story. It was well written by an author with a good understanding of developmental psychology and… fear. All that said, I feel guilty for purchasing the book and however indirectly, giving financial support to such a radical and fundamentalist worldview. Looking at Orson Scott Card’s bibliography, it seems there is a bevy of great stories that I’ll never read.